That Lovin’ Feeling

When They whoever They are said having a child was one of the most difficult things in a marriage, They weren’t kidding.

I would not trade these past 5.5 months (?!?!?!?!?) being D’s Momma for anything, but between the sleep deprivation, feedings, diaper changes and all the other things adult, my patience has been low and my frustrations high.

And I’ve been taking it out on B.

Not that B is completely blameless in adding to or being a source my frustrations. But that doesn’t mean he deserves to be around someone in a shit mood.

B isn’t a mind reader. He can’t see the 945,215,279,531,452,754,274,651 things on my mental to-do list. He can’t possibly understand that I’m so. stinkin’. tired that I can’t even think about folding the laundry. Hey, it’s clean…what more does he want! Or that I’m constantly on the go- at work, taking care of D, going to various sporting events of B’s, trying to get/keep the house clean that I NEED those 30-60 minutes while he and D are in bed to decompress before I can even think about going to sleep.

He and I were snippy with each other and not communicating about what we need for and from each other.

We’d lost that lovin’ feeling.

After watching my parents’ marriage fall apart after years and years of less and less communication, I was scared. I didn’t want that same thing to happen to us. I didn’t want that to happen to D. Something needed to change. For the sake of my marriage, my sanity and my son.

I started by asking B to do things. I was direct, precise and specific in my requests instead of silent, resentful and hinting. Lo and behold, things got done! And best of all, I didn’t have to do them!

I make sure to let Brian know how incredibly appreciative I am of his help and it’s working! He’s helping out more, without me having to say anything, I’m less of a beach less stressed, we have more time together as a family and as a couple.

Things are definitely getting better between the two of us, but I know there’s room for improvement.

My house is still a mess.

There’s always laundry that needs to be washed, folded and/or put away.

Okay. How does one fold a fitted sheet without it looking like a balled up mess? 

I’m not taking the best care of myself. And my sister is getting married this summer. I need to get rid of this baby weight (and then some), like yesterday! 

I need more than 6 hours of sleep a night.

Finding that lovin’ feeling is definitely a step in the right direction.

But I still need to find that balance.

How do you keep that lovin’ feeling with/for your significant other and your sanity?


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