Gee…I never thought of that.

I’ve been on a bit of a social media hiatus.

There’s some crap going on in the family. I tweeted about how I was having all the feels, how it surprised me that I was having the feels and that I just needed to vent. And it bit me in the a-dollar-dollar.

Having all the feels and not feeling like I can talk to anyone without paying them to listen to me has seriously set my anxiety through the roof.

Sarcasm is my first language and my coping mechanism.

I can’t control my anxiety, but I can usually control my sarcasm. when my filter is working…

Trust me. I SO wish I could control the anxiety right now.

B and I are going on an anniversary getaway long weekend in a few weeks and I’m trying to figure out logistics for Man Cub.
We are extremely lucky to have all four grandparents locally.
But trying to figure things out with my habitually late, last minute family is driving me nucking futs. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. I absolutely adore then and would be beyond lost without them.
But no one can push my buttons and drive me crazy like they can.

During MIL’s birthday lunch today our little vacay was brought up and MIL was naturally curious when Man Cub was going to be at her house. I told her I didn’t know and that I was working on it.
I wasn’t trying to be a beach. I really wasn’t, but my frustration must have been obvious.

As we were outside saying our goodbyes she kind of pulled me aside and said it was no big deal to her when Man Cub was at her house.
Then it happened.
She told me not to worry about it.
And I reacted.
Poorly.

I believe “Gee, I never thought of that. Just don’t worry about it. Problem solved!” was my exact response.

If I could just not think/worry about some of the shit going on right now, I would. Trust me. I wish it was that farking simple. I really do.

I’m sure things will eventually, last minute, work themselves out and all will be well.
But until then?
Please, for the love of dear, sweet baby Jesus, don’t tell me to just not think/worry about it.
Anxiety+Girl

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